He Who Must Be Obeyed

nospam@example.com (Annie Gabston-Howell) — Sat, 22 Sep 2007 11:00:44 -0600

In a house full of individuals, the lines of command are not as clearly defined as in, for example, a well-run military operation. Everyone has some area where they have the right to say, "I'm in charge and you'd better do as I say."

This can get confusing. It can also get loud. I wouldn't change it for the world. It is good for the 18-year-old to learn that she can't modify the 9-year-old's space without the 9-year-old's permission. It's good for the 16-year-old to have to beg the apology of the 11-year-old when he has infringed on her rights of control. It's good for small people to learn that, when you have right on your side, you can still win. It's even good for the large folks to learn that the little-and-cute sometimes lose out to calm logic and justice.

However good the ultimate purpose, it can, as said above, get confusing and loud. When Allan and I are on the same page, it usually isn't so bad. When we disagree, it can get downright ugly as we try to work out between us, which one of us should be General for a particular situation, before striding forward to settle whatever the issue is.

It can be stressful. It is therefore a relief to consider the one 'person' in the house that everyone obeys without question.

The cat is King. If the cat can make his wishes known, he is obeyed. He stands near the refrigerator and meows. We have all learned that this means that he'd like to have ice in his water bowl.

If, in a kitchen full of children, I say, "Would someone get ice for me?" No-one moves. I haven't specified which child, so every child is free to decide that the request must be directed towards some other child.

If I am specific, that child is likely to whimper something along the lines of, "Why is it always me? I got the ice last time."

They are generally obedient, but feel put-upon and oppressed by my unreasonable nature.

When the cat meows by the refrigerator, everyone in the house, including myself, will automatically move to comply with the cat's wishes. No arguments, no hesitation. The cat wants ice, so the cat should have ice. Compliance is an honor, rather than an imposition.

The television is a bone of contention. Movie, broadcast show, video game? Every child has a different desire and feels the need to impose that desire on all the others. Knowing what a sibling wants to do is enough to turn every other sibling's wishes to some other path. When a sibling is deeply involved in t.v., it is required that all
other siblings do something annoying. Let's hum, toy with the music
keyboard, chat loudly...

The cat sometimes finds something interesting on t.v. He sits upright, about two inches from the screen and his head sways from side to side as he stares, entranced, at the onscreen activities. He will sometimes stay interested for fifteen to twenty minutes at a time.

When the cat is watching t.v., everyone freezes in place and tries not to breathe too loud.

When the cat wants to play, people play with him.

If the cat wants a lap, he has his choice of laps.

If petting is required, even people in a hurry stop to pet him.

Even in this house of individuals, everyone knows that the cat is king and entitled to unquestioning obedience. As a mere parent, I find that, even as I obey the cat, I am guilty of envy.

MEandering - The Cat

He Who Must Be Obeyed