On Being Reasonable

08-01-2005

I talked to Mr. Principal today. He said that my husband and I have been unreasonable in our ongoing quest to have his school educate our children.

He reminded me that sending a letter to Mr. Steinhauser had only resulted in the buck being passed down to Ms. Matthews who then passed it down to our pal the principal.

He seemed to have forgotten that everything I talked about in the letter to Steinhauser (actually a copy of a complaint letter to the state) had been mentioned to our pal first. I had paid him the compliment of expecting him to listen to us and attempt to do the right thing. Over and over, my husband and I told him about problems and asked him to do something about them. Our pal never managed to listen well enough--even when we put it in writing--to understand that we would really like it if our children learned something during the hours they are required to attend his school.

After several months, during which we talked and he failed to listen, Mr. Principal sounded hurt when he accused me of being unreasonable.

Reasonable behavior is sometimes overrated. This is something I learned as a tot. It's something I've been careful not to teach my children.

When I was growing up, for instance, if I wanted candy, I'd ask for it nicely. Nine times out of ten some adult would tell me that candy wasn't good for me and offer something healthy.

At this point I had a choice to make. Be reasonable and take the banana, carrot, tomatoe, apple, etc..., or throw a righteous fit.

Being reasonable would please the adult and maybe make them believe I was a good little girl. They'd smile at me and think really nice thoughts about me.

Being unreasonable would get me candy.

As I grew older, I learned to value the nice thoughts more. Nowadays, I actually prefer it if people believe I'm a nice person. As a rule, I think it's better to be nice than to get the 'candy.'

There are times, though, when the 'candy' is something I consider vital.

When the other name for 'candy' is 'FAPE' (free, adequate, public education) I remember what I learned as a child.

I start by asking nicely. There's always the possibility, when I start out, that this is the one time of the ten when asking nicely will get me what I need without hurting feelings, being unpleasant or being Unreasonable.

I'm giving Mr. Principal one more shot at it. Against my better judgement, I've agreed that my husband and I will meet with our pal next week. I've even convinced my husband to pretend--during the meeting, at least--that we've forgotten all the mis-statements and untruths from our pal that got us here.

I'm being reasonable because being reasonable works sometimes but I haven't forgotten that throwing a righteous fit gets candy more often than not.

George Bernard Shaw The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man.

Home	On Being Reasonable 08-01-2005 I talked to Mr. Principal today. He said that my husband and I have been unreasonable in our ongoing quest to have his school educate our children. He reminded me that sending a letter to Mr. Steinhauser had only resulted in the buck being passed down to Ms. Matthews who then passed it down to our pal the principal. He seemed to have forgotten that everything I talked about in the letter to Steinhauser (actually a copy of a complaint letter to the state) had been mentioned to our pal first. I had paid him the compliment of expecting him to listen to us and attempt to do the right thing. Over and over, my husband and I told him about problems and asked him to do something about them. Our pal never managed to listen well enough--even when we put it in writing--to understand that we would really like it if our children learned something during the hours they are required to attend his school. After several months, during which we talked and he failed to listen, Mr. Principal sounded hurt when he accused me of being unreasonable. Reasonable behavior is sometimes overrated. This is something I learned as a tot. It's something I've been careful not to teach my children. When I was growing up, for instance, if I wanted candy, I'd ask for it nicely. Nine times out of ten some adult would tell me that candy wasn't good for me and offer something healthy. At this point I had a choice to make. Be reasonable and take the banana, carrot, tomatoe, apple, etc..., or throw a righteous fit. Being reasonable would please the adult and maybe make them believe I was a good little girl. They'd smile at me and think really nice thoughts about me. Being unreasonable would get me candy. As I grew older, I learned to value the nice thoughts more. Nowadays, I actually prefer it if people believe I'm a nice person. As a rule, I think it's better to be nice than to get the 'candy.' There are times, though, when the 'candy' is something I consider vital. When the other name for 'candy' is 'FAPE' (free, adequate, public education) I remember what I learned as a child. I start by asking nicely. There's always the possibility, when I start out, that this is the one time of the ten when asking nicely will get me what I need without hurting feelings, being unpleasant or being Unreasonable. I'm giving Mr. Principal one more shot at it. Against my better judgement, I've agreed that my husband and I will meet with our pal next week. I've even convinced my husband to pretend--during the meeting, at least--that we've forgotten all the mis-statements and untruths from our pal that got us here. I'm being reasonable because being reasonable works sometimes but I haven't forgotten that throwing a righteous fit gets candy more often than not. George Bernard Shaw The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man.
Gabston-Howell.org
Good Neighbors
Madelynn
Mary
Phillip
Katie
Janette
Back to Articles Index